Incorrect calling of names was my first hint that something was wrong with my mom.
At 16, she helped me out with my first CV. I didn’t expect to be returning the favour to her only seven years later, but after retiring from her career in management, Mom was looking for a part-time job to fill her time as she was never the type of person you’d find idle.
The problem was, she couldn’t seem to figure the forms out: she would write her name in the date of birth box, or muddle up the order, and it didn’t matter how many times we went over what she wanted to say – on paper her words made no sense. However, her handwriting, which had always been beautiful and flowing remained the same.
The official diagnosis came a few months later, after a flurry of doctors visits and assessments. She was relatively young, as these things go, at just 58. Although she appeared older than her age. Dad had already prepared us for an ‘A’ word, something we hadn’t heard of before. When we were told it was Alzheimer’s a certain amount of the shock had already been cushioned, thanks to the briefing from Dad.
Alzheimer’s steals your identity in more ways than you expect. When she was diagnosed, Mom could still follow a conversation, visit the market and even prepare family meals on her own. But the word itself changed the way people treated her and the things she was allowed to do.
Of course, while people’s perceptions changed instantly, everything else was an agonizing drip of erosion. Things slipped bit by bit as Mom became more childlike, moodier. At first, she simply couldn’t say our regular morning prayers anymore. Later on, she needed help to get dressed and all. She would get lost putting the correct pair of slippers and giggle at her own mistake – a brave response to the terror of this slide into helplessness.
As her brain increasingly misfired, we would find her in the sitting room in the middle of the night, wandering in search of something that she never seemed to find.
Two years after her original diagnosis she went for a week of respite care and never came home again. She was transferred to the dementia ward of the hospital where language continued to simply fall out of her head, along with the ability to feed herself or make it to the toilet on time. Visiting her, first in the hospital and then in her new, permanent residential home, became the new normal for Dad, my sisters and me.
At first, we all cried routinely at every visit. I would sit with her and hold her hand, hoping that my presence would be enough to banish the darkness for a little while. Mostly, we would be rewarded with a second or so of recognition. Her face would light up and she would tell us she loved us, often with smiles and tears in her own eyes. Even when she had forgotten how to say almost everything else, she remembered these three words, a fact we cling to tightly, even now.
Alzheimer’s is a sneaky disease, where there is always further to fall, and an initial diagnosis is rarely prepared for the final decline. The day Mom went into respite care she was still herself enough to tell me that she felt she was all washed up. Those brief, awful weeks of lucidity where she faced her fate with some awareness must have been so very frightening for her.
ALSO READ: How to Cope With The Death Of A Loved One
It’s for this reason, and others, that I won’t lie. When she passed on, four years after her original diagnosis, I was glad. It was, of course, all mixed up with grief and shock and a sort of exhaustion with everything, but there was definitely a part of me that was glad. Not because I didn’t love my mom, but because I did. She wouldn’t have wanted to live in a world where she could no longer derive pleasure from reading, cooking, attending occasions, feeling useful, feeling safe. All of these things were stolen from her, irrevocably.
Inevitably, there is a space where she used to be. My sisters had their first-degree last year, and I just got a job after my masters. We both missed Mom throughout these milestones and tried to honour her in her absence because ultimately, we refuse to let the manner of her death define her. My mom was more than Alzheimer’s disease (dementia) and in my truest, happiest memories of her, it doesn’t even feature.
I think that is among the so much important information for me.
And i am satisfied studying your article. However wanna commentary
on few general things, The web site taste is perfect, the articles is really great : D.
Excellent task, cheers
Hi there, I enjoy reading all of your post. I like to write a little
comment to support you.
My relatives always say that I am wasting my time here at web, but I know I am getting experience
everyday by reading thes pleasant posts.
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This
is an extremely well written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and come back
to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post.
I’ll certainly comeback.
Awesome issues here. I’m very happy to peer your post.
Thank you so much and I’m taking a look forward to touch you.
Will you please drop me a e-mail?
Hi! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog.
Is it hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast.
I’m thinking about setting up my own but I’m not sure where
to begin. Do you have any points or suggestions? Appreciate it
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something which I think I would never understand.
It seems too complex and very broad for me.
I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!
Howdy this is kinda of off topic but I was
wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or
if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a
blog soon but have no coding skills so I wanted to get guidance from
someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Pretty section of content. I simply stumbled upon your site and in accession capital to say that I acquire in fact loved account your blog posts.
Anyway I’ll be subscribing on your augment and even I fulfillment you get
admission to persistently quickly.
Thank you for the good writeup. It in reality used to be a amusement account
it. Look complex to more added agreeable from you!
By the way, how could we communicate?
Hello! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog.
Is it tough to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast.
I’m thinking about setting up my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do
you have any tips or suggestions? Thanks
Aw, this was an incredibly good post. Taking the time and actual effort to create a great article… but
what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and never manage to get nearly anything done.
bookmarked!!, I love your blog!
Hi! I’ve been following your web site for a while now and finally got the courage
to go ahead and give you a shout out from Houston Tx! Just
wanted to say keep up the excellent job!
Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO?
I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results.
If you know of any please share. Thanks!
Hi healthfacts.ng administrator, Thanks for the informative and well-written post!
To the healthfacts.ng administrator, Thanks for the well-presented post!
Wonderful blog you have here but I was wondering if you knew of any discussion boards that cover
the same topics talked about in this article?
I’d really love to be a part of online community where I can get suggestions from other experienced people that share the same interest.
If you have any recommendations, please let me know.
Thank you!
Everyone loves what you guys tend to be up too.
This kind of clever work and coverage! Keep up
the amazing works guys I’ve added you guys to my own blogroll.
I think this is among the most important information for me.
And i am glad reading your article. But wanna remark on some general things, The website style is ideal, the articles is really nice : D.
Good job, cheers
Very good write-up. I absolutely love this site. Thanks!
Its such as you learn my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the ebook in it or
something. I think that you could do with some % to power the message house a bit, however
other than that, that is great blog. A fantastic read. I’ll definitely be back.
They also offer Cupping Therapy and the far
more unique Ginger Remedy exactly where grated
raw ginger is spread more than your back.
Hello, after reading this awesome paragraph i am too
delighted to share my knowledge here with mates.
I love what you guys are usually up too. This type of clever work and
coverage! Keep up the great works guys I’ve included you
guys to our blogroll.
There’s certainly a great deal to know about this issue.
I like all the points you’ve made.
Superb, what a web site it is! This webpage presents useful data to
us, keep it up.
Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that
automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some
time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something
like this. Please let me know if you run into anything.
I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.
Awesome! Its in fact amazing article, I have got much clear idea
regarding from this article.
I have been browsing online more than 4 hours today, yet I never found any interesting
article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me.
In my view, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be a lot more useful than ever before.
Can I simply just say what a relief to discover somebody who actually understands what they’re discussing on the internet. You definitely realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More and more people ought to read this and understand this side of your story. I was surprised that you are not more popular given that you certainly have the gift.
Hmm it looks like your site ate my first comment (it was super long) so I
guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything.
Do you have any points for beginner blog writers?
I’d really appreciate it.
Heat stimulates blood flow to the impacted region, enlarges blood vessels, and relaxes muscles, restoring flexibility to the muscle
and treating the bruise.
Great blog here! Also your site loads up fast!
What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link
to your host? I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol
My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of your post’s to be exactly what I’m looking
for. Do you offer guest writers to write content for you
personally? I wouldn’t mind writing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write in relation to
here. Again, awesome web site!
Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular post! It’s the little changes that make the largest changes. Many thanks for sharing!
By the way, 5 months is the typical amount of time it takes to pay
back a $300 payday loan, according to the Pew Charitable Trusts.
Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed reading it, you are a great author.I will
ensure that I bookmark your blog and will come back down the road.
I want to encourage you continue your great posts, have a nice holiday weekend!
We’re a bunch of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme in our community.
Your web site provided us with helpful info to work on. You have performed an impressive task and our whole
community can be thankful to you.
Excellent post. I’m experiencing a few of these issues as
well..
Excellent post. I was checking continuously this blog and I’m impressed!
Very helpful information particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such info much.
I was seeking this particular info for a long time.
Thank you and best of luck.
What’s up, after reading this amazing piece of writing i am as
well happy to share my know-how here with mates.
Great blog here! Also your site loads up very fast!
What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
I wish my website loaded up as fast as yours lol
What’s up mates, fastidious post and good urging commented at this place, I am genuinely enjoying
by these.
Howdy, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam remarks?
If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can suggest?
I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any assistance is very much appreciated.
Hello! This is my first visit to your blog! We
are a collection of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche.
Your blog provided us beneficial information to work on. You have done a marvellous
job!
Hello this is kind of of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.
I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I
wanted to get guidance from someone with experience.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Hi there, yes this piece of writing is truly good and I have learned
lot of things from it regarding blogging. thanks.
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really one thing that I feel I would by no
means understand. It kind of feels too complicated and very broad for me.
I’m having a look forward for your subsequent publish, I
will attempt to get the dangle of it!
The on the internet slot machine has 50 fixed spend lines, with a maximum winning
bet of 4000x from the initial wager.
Very good information. Lucky me I recently found your blog by chance (stumbleupon). I have book marked it for later!
Dear healthfacts.ng administrator, You always provide in-depth analysis and understanding.
To the healthfacts.ng administrator, You always provide clear explanations and step-by-step instructions.
To the healthfacts.ng admin, Thanks for the well-researched and well-written post!
Hi healthfacts.ng admin, Your posts are always well-referenced and credible.
Dear healthfacts.ng webmaster, You always provide valuable feedback and suggestions.
To the healthfacts.ng administrator, Your posts are always interesting.
Dear healthfacts.ng webmaster, Your posts are always well received by the community.
To the healthfacts.ng admin, Your posts are always well-balanced and objective.
It’s nearly impossible to find knowledgeable people about this topic, but you seem like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks
Spot on with this write-up, I absolutely think this amazing site needs far more attention. I’ll probably be back again to read through more, thanks for the info!
You need to be a part of a contest for one of the most useful sites on the internet. I most certainly will highly recommend this blog!
Hello healthfacts.ng admin, You always provide great information and insights.
To the healthfacts.ng administrator, Your posts are always well-formatted and easy to read.
To the healthfacts.ng webmaster, Thanks for the well-researched and well-written post!
To the healthfacts.ng owner, Thanks for the well-presented post!
Hello healthfacts.ng administrator, You always provide key takeaways and summaries.
Hello healthfacts.ng admin, Your posts are always interesting.
Hello healthfacts.ng owner, Your posts are always well-timed and relevant.
Everyone loves it when folks come together and share views. Great site, keep it up!
Greetings from Idaho! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to
check out your site on my iphone during lunch break.
I love the info you present here and can’t wait to take a look
when I get home. I’m shocked at how quick your blog loaded on my phone
.. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, very good site!
Can you be more specific about the content of your article? After reading it, I still have some doubts. Hope you can help me.
Having read this I believed it was really informative. I appreciate you finding the time and energy to put this informative article together. I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worth it!
Hello healthfacts.ng administrator, Keep sharing your knowledge!
I absolutely love your website.. Great colors & theme. Did you make this web site yourself? Please reply back as I’m attempting to create my very own blog and would love to know where you got this from or exactly what the theme is called. Cheers!
To the healthfacts.ng owner, Thanks for the well-structured and well-presented post!
I must thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this site. I’m hoping to view the same high-grade content from you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own, personal blog now 😉
What a information of un-ambiguity and preserveness of
valuable know-how regarding unexpected emotions.
I need to to thank you for this wonderful read!! I absolutely loved every little bit of it. I have you book-marked to look at new stuff you post…
Howdy! This article couldn’t be written any better! Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept talking about this. I most certainly will forward this post to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a great read. I appreciate you for sharing!