My Endurance Journey to Freedom : Ajoke’s Tale

In about 2 months from now, I hope to celebrate my third year bondage anniversary. Well, since I am now on my journey to freedom, maybe i can celebrate. Freedom was a word that got lost in my dictionary prior to this moment. Although I would have said “wedding anniversary” if I had not started receiving insults and beatings from my husband months ago. Adewale, whom I got married to was a very caring and loving man. I had known him for more than three years before our marriage, and he never seemed to me to be that kind of man who would raise his hands on a lady.

I started noticing depression and anxiety in him when he started raising his voice at myself and our daughter, Derinsola. On talking to him about his current state, I received my first insult and a slap from him. Ever since then, I knew that something was wrong somewhere. I never spoke to anyone about it because sharing my family problems outside was termed “inappropriate” by me. I tried enduring his harsh words and beatings cause I felt he was going through something he never wanted to share with me and I hoped it was going to be over soon.

This continued for months – I became a punching bag in my house. Nothing I did was pleasing to him.  When he was less annoyed I would receive just insults and slaps. I could easily be described as “the woman with new scars”. I usually gave excuses and lied about everything. Gradually I started deteriorating – I had almost lost it all, a woman of substance and great value, a woman who stood out amongst her peers became one who was being traumatized.

Drunkenness, accompanied with anger and depression took over our house.  Seeing Derinsola cry when I was beaten caused me so much pain than the punches and slaps itself. The endurance limit was broken when Adewale beat me till I became unconscious. I was rushed to the hospital by neighbors and now on my recovery I was made known to have had a fractured wrist. I find it hard to believe that I was a victim of domestic violence.


Today, I am gradually recovering from all that happened. I am Ajoke, a victim of domestic violence, and I am on my journey to freedom.

Don’t become like me:

  • Don’t endure pains and domestic sufferings.
  • Don’t suffer in silence.
  • Talk to people when you start noticing signs.
  • Don’t try to hide your pain from the world.
  • Report all cases to authorities.
  • Domestic violence does not only break you, but it could also kill.